


My Brother's Keeper

by BrandSpankingNew



Series: Raising Cal [2]
Category: Cal Leandros - Rob Thurman
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Tumulus, Sleep Deprivation, Spanking, Swearing, elective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-20 13:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18126761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrandSpankingNew/pseuds/BrandSpankingNew
Summary: "It isn't easy, being my brother's keeper. But I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe."Since Cal returned from wherever the Grendels took him, he hasn't spoken a single word. He hasn't slept through a single night. But when Cal gets an idea in his head that he needs to keep Niko safe, that's when things really go off the rails.





	1. Chapter 1

The screams were horrifying. My throat was as raw as a pound of hamburger, barely able to emit sound at all, and still I screamed. And screamed. Hopeless, helpless to do anything except scream my fear and anguish to an uncaring universe.

A hand grabbed my arm. Like an animal, I thrashed, trying to escape from the claws curling around my pale flesh. The screams continued.

A word spoken to me. It meant nothing, nothing at all. The Auphe's language was like ground glass in my ear canal. Except-this wasn't that ground glass speech.

"Cal." Soft. One word. My name. "Cal, you're safe. You're safe."

Safe. That was a good word. I liked that word. They never used that word. The screams died in my throat with a small gurgle, like an animal drowning. I turned my head and dared to open my eyes.

Gray eyes stared back at me, barely visible in the dim light. I knew those eyes. Those were my eyes. And my brother's eyes. The same. I stopped pulling away from the hand gripping my forearm. Niko's eyes. Safe.

Niko pressed his back flat to the dingy carpet and carefully inched under the bed. Right. I'd taken refuge under the bed to sleep. It had seemed safer than the wide open spaces of the cramped and dirty hotel room where we had stopped for the night. Together. Because I was back. Back with my big brother. And Niko had said that he would keep me safe.

"Are you with me, little brother?" Nik asked as he inched closer. Nik was still bigger than me. Still taller, still wider, even though I had gotten taller and wider too. But my brother was bigger, was stronger, was safe. I let my chest rise and fall, gulping for air as my brother inched closer, one hand still wrapped firmly and gently around my forearm. "It's okay, Cal. You're okay."

His shoulder butted up against mine, a warm presence. His familiar scent. Yes, I was safe. With my brother.

Niko sighed and turned his head to stare up into the dirty box spring. "Can you sleep now, Cal?"

Sleep. Sleep was good. But sleep was bad too. In sleep, I went to hell. And though I couldn't remember why I was screaming when I woke up, I knew that the cause of it was a Very Bad Thing. A small whimper escaped from my lips.

"People need to sleep, Cal," Nik said, his voice calm and reasonable. "We're going to be driving again all day tomorrow. And the day after that, and after that. Can't do that if I don't sleep."

Niko needed sleep. Right. That made sense. Niko was a human. Humans need to sleep. But I couldn't sleep. Because every time I slept...I screamed. I screamed and screamed, and woke my brother. My brother who needed sleep. Because Niko was keeping me safe. And Niko couldn't keep me safe-couldn't run, couldn't drive, couldn't fight, couldn't learn-if he didn't sleep. And I had been screaming for a long time now. Every time I shut my eyes, it seemed, I woke screaming.

Good thing I'm not human, I thought absently. My thoughts didn't usually come in words these days, but this thought was as clear as a bell. As plain as the nose on Nik's face.

Obediently, I shut my eyes and concentrated on breathing. In and out, a slow, measured pace. But I didn't relax. Niko needed to sleep. So I couldn't.

I wasn't sure how long it took before Niko relaxed, his own breathing evening out into a pace that spoke of slumber. It seemed like a long time to me, but time wasn't something that I understood very well anymore. I'd understood it once. But now, it seemed like a blur. I just lay on the floor, my shoulder touching my brother's. I stared up into the box spring mere inches from my nose, and I thought.

This couldn't go on forever. Nik was only human. I...I was not. And it wasn't fair of me to ask my human big brother to save my monster ass. The Grendels didn't want Nik, after all. They wanted me. Because I was one of them. Or at least, half of one of them. My eyes told me that Sofia was indeed the one who had given me birth. They were just like hers, just like Niko's. The bright, wary gray of a stormy sea. But the Grendels weren't interested in that half of me. They were interested in something else.

The urge to scream bubbled up in my throat again, and I squashed it ruthlessly. No! Niko needed to sleep. I wouldn't interrupt that. I wasn't good for much, but I could at least watch over Niko as he slept.

I watched my brother's chest rise and fall.

* * *

 "Did you get some sleep, Cal?" I asked.

Cal didn't answer. I always talked to him as though he would, but Cal hadn't spoken a word since that night when the universe had spit him out bloody and naked. A rebirth of sorts. He'd managed to whisper, "Nik!" but beyond that, nothing. His throat had clamped shut. Not that Cal was trying all that hard to speak. I knew my brother. He knew I'd take care of him.

He curled in the corner, his back against the wall, eyes watching as I packed up the few things we'd taken from the Jeep into the room. "Come on, little brother," I said finally. "Let's get a move on."

Quick as a shot, Cal was on his feet and on my heels as we walked out to the Jeep. He situated himself on the passenger side, curled in a tight ball on the seat. He would have preferred curling on the floor, but I insisted that he needed to be in a seatbelt. The first time we'd fought over it, it had taken half an hour to get him to comply. Now he buckled himself in and pressed his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly and locking the passenger door. I put the Jeep in reverse and pulled out of the parking spot. In a mere minute, we were on the road.

"I slept pretty well myself," I said conversationally, turning on the radio. The music was classical, light and airy. Cal didn't respond. "Was surprised. You only woke up once last night. Things are getting better, I think."

Cal stared at the top of his knees. He looked despondent. Like he thought this was his fault. Like it could ever be his fault.

"It won't be like this forever, Cal," I said finally. "You'll see."

Cal let his forehead rest against his knees and as usual, didn't respond.

* * *

 300 miles later I glanced at my brother. The kid was still too thin, curled up in a little ball in the seat. He looked dangerous, like an animal, all skin and bones and wary eyes. It didn't help that he never said a word.

It had been nearly two months since Cal had reappeared through a gaping gray hole in the fabric of the universe, covered in blood and filth of all kinds. The kid had looked in my eyes. Had said my name before passing out in my arms. That first week had been beyond terrifying, carrying my broken little brother along with me on a wild ride across the country in a battered jeep. Cal had refused to sit on the seat, instead curling his body into the cramped space on the floor. I had been reminded a bit of Cal's babyhood as I'd had to guide him to drink, to eat, to use the bathroom. The first shower had ended up with us both soaked to the skin, bruised, and in tears. But slowly, things improved.

Cal showered on his own now, and thankfully would use the bathroom without being prompted. He'd eat whatever I put in front of him, as long as it wasn't certain types of pork. (I'd found that out the hard way. Cleaning pork chop vomit out of the Jeep made sure I wouldn't forget.) And sometimes, now, he would look me in the eyes. My brother was in there. I knew it.

* * *

 We'd driven hundreds of miles. We were somewhere in the western part of the Midwest, and I was ready to drop. Even my fear every time we stopped for the night couldn't override my human need for sleep though, and I'd finally pulled over at a cheap roadside place advertising clean sheets and low prices.

As usual, as soon as we entered the dirty little motel room, Cal made a beeline for the bed. This room, however, didn't have the kind of bed that could be burrowed under. The base was solid and cemented to the floor. Cal whimpered silently, his face contorting.

"It's ok Cal," I said in my most soothing tone but my mind was going furiously. What was Cal going to do now? He looked like he couldn't decide whether to scream, cry, or collapse in a heap on the filthy carpet. I readied himself for the worst.

Finally he turned to me, eyes wide and nervous. He shook his head furiously, his long, ragged hair flapping back and forth. I took a cautious step closer, and he didn't look any more likely to bolt than he had before, which struck me as positive. His skinny shoulders were shaking. Very carefully, I put a hand on each shoulder. Cal tensed for a moment before relaxing.

"Can we try something different tonight Cal?" I asked calmly. There was a long silence, but Cal didn't pull away. That was similarly encouraging. "I'll keep you safe, little brother. I promise."

Cal's head shot up. Our eyes, gray and stormy, connected. My brother was in there. Angry, scared as hell, but still trusting. He still believed that I would keep him safe. Even after hell. I felt a lump form in the back of my throat.

"Go take a shower, kid," I said, giving Cal a little push. "You stink." He didn't really, but something in his eyes made me think a little humor wouldn't go amiss.

When Cal reached out and gave me a half-hearted shove back before turning and going into the bathroom, I couldn't help the smile.

That was the first time Cal had ever done anything that wasn't purely functional in movement. The kid was indeed coming back.

I'd missed the little smart-ass.

* * *

 I scrubbed myself mercilessly in the shower. Being clean...I liked it. Clean meant safe. It was good. They didn't care about clean. My stomach twisted a little. But no, I wouldn't think about Them. They couldn't get me here. I was safe with Niko.

My skin was bright red and getting pruny so I finally rinsed off the soap suds and turned off the water. I wrapped a towel around my waist and looked in the mirror. A stranger stared back. I didn't remember that body, so skinny and stringy with muscle, or that face with the more angular jaw and hollowed cheeks and eyes. I'd changed. A lot. But Niko was still the same. I was grateful for that, at least.

I left the stranger in the bathroom and returned to the main room where my brother perched on the edge of the dingy bed. He was staring at the TV, but I could tell that he wasn't paying attention to the cooking show that was playing. I dug into the battered bag that contained our clothes and pulled out some sweats. I got dressed and turned to Niko. His eyes met mine. He looked exhausted.

"Ready for bed, little brother?" Nik asked.

After a moment, I nodded. I knew I needed to start answering Nik, or at least acknowledging the man's existence. Even if I couldn't seem to find words, the muscle attaching my head to my neck worked just fine. A small smile played at Niko's lips. Yeah, I owed my brother this.

Nik got up and turned off the television. "Into bed," he said cheerfully, reminding me so much of our early years, when he would read me a story and tuck me into the twin sized mattress we had shared. I cautiously turned back the covers, looking at Nik for reassurance the whole time. Are you sure? Are you sure this is safe? Just thoughts, but Nik had always been able to read my mind. He nodded encouragingly and finally I crawled between sheets that smelled strongly of industrial-strength bleach. It stung my nose, but it was also aggressively clean, and I liked that. It reminded me that I was safe. That I wasn't with them.

Nik made himself comfortable on the other side of the bed, then turned towards where I was lying stiff as a board on my back and trying to remember how to breathe.

Toomuchspace-ohfuck-fuckinghell-toomuch-toomuch-notsafe!

Nik scooted closer, so our shoulders were touching again. The contact reminded me how to breathe. "It will be ok," he said, and I couldn't tell if that was reassurance or an order. I nodded anyway.

"Shut your eyes Cal," he said. "The room won't seem so big."

Obediently I closed them. But I didn't let myself relax. I was so tired, but even with Nik at my side I knew I couldn't sleep. It wasn't safe. And anyway, I would wake up screaming in roughly an hour and a half. Niko needed sleep. Tonight, I would be the one watching. I could do that to keep my brother safe.


	2. Chapter 2

A night can be very long when you don't sleep. Nik was snoring next to me and I was staring at the ceiling. There was a suspicious looking stain in the corner of the wall that I'd been studying for a long time. I couldn't decide if it looked like sheep puking up a radish or a disfigured moose. Could sheep puke?

I pulled my eyes away from the stain and glanced over to my sleeping brother. Then I looked past him to the clock on the bedside table. 5:33 a.m. and if Nik was true to form the man would be waking any minute now. I shut my eyes and begin counting my breath, trying to produce a reasonable facsimile of sleep.

* * *

I didn't mean to, but it had been a long night. Between closing my eyes and counting my breath to try to keep my breathing even I must have drifted off.

A hand on my shoulder was what brought me back. "Cal?" Nik's voice. His scent. Safety. "Wake up, little brother."

Slowly I opened the one eye that wasn't smashed into the flat motel pillow. I let out a grunt of protest as my I crossed the clock. 6:23. In the morning, I'd assume. Nik had always been a morning person and he looked much too cheerful for this hour.

"You slept through the night," he said, explaining his cheery demeanor.

Oh, right. That would be a rational conclusion to draw, I guess. Even if it wasn't an accurate one. I sat up.

"Let's get moving Cal," he said. "If you want we can get pancakes for breakfast."

Wow. He really was happy about this. Ever since I'd returned, Niko's health kick had reached new extremes. Then again, so had his obsession with martial arts training. What had been something he did twice a week, he was now practicing every day, including sword work whenever there was space. There was a wariness to us both that we hadn't had before...and considering we'd grown up with Sophia, that meant something..

I wasn't about to turn down pancakes. So I nodded and managed to pull myself free of the sheets. How had they gotten so twisted around me anyway? I was pretty sure that when I'd fallen asleep I've been on my back.

Niko actually smiled. I hadn't seen that much either since my return. "That's my brother," he said and only a hint of sarcasm tinted his words. "Offer him a little sugar and some trans fats and he's up like a shot."

I nodded again agreeably and Niko picked up the bag that held our clothes.

"All right then, let's go before I have a chance to come to my senses."

* * *

On the way out of town, right before we hit the corn fields, I saw a little mom and pop diner. "There look good Cal?" I asked him. He nodded again. There was a gleam in his eye, I hadn't seen since he returned. If I had known that pancakes would bring that gleam back, I would have offered them a while ago. Then again, Cal had only recently started to have actual interest in food again, rather than just mechanically swallowing whatever I'd put in front of him. It was great to see anyway. Even if it probably meant an end to vegetables in his diet.

We parked and headed into the diner, Cal on my heels so closely that he nearly tripped every few steps. I still counted it as improvement over the days I'd had to lead him by the hand, his body curled against mine like a blind man.

I chose a booth with a view of both the exits and the kitchen, and Cal slid in first and scrunched himself against the wall. I sat on the outside. The place was pretty full, which seemed like a good sign. At least we wouldn't get food poisoning.

A middle-aged woman wearing too much blue mascara plopped a pair of menus in front of us. "What can I grab you boys to drink?" she asked with a friendly smile.

"An orange juice for him, and green tea for me," I said, but next to me Cal vigorously shook his head. He grabbed the menu and pointed emphatically at something.

"You want Mountain Dew?" The lady glanced at me as if to double-check that it was ok. I sighed, not thrilled with the caffeine and sugar, but Cal hadn't asked for anything specific since his return.

"Bring both," I said. "You're drinking the juice first," I told Cal in an aside as she returned to the kitchen.

Cal nodded.

We sat together quietly. The waitress came back carrying all three beverages and put them down in front of us. Cal grabbed the juice and threw it back like a man in the desert, then followed it with most of the Mountain Dew.

"Whoa, kid, slow down!" I said, putting my hand on his wrist. "Do you have diabetes or something?" Wouldn't that just be a kick in the teeth if he did. I knew excessive thirst was a symptom of it. Hey, I do a lot of reading.

Cal shook his head, clinging to the giant glass of soda with both hands.

"Well, you'd better stop chugging that stuff or you're going to get it," I said. That wasn't strictly factual, of course, but he really didn't need all that sugar.

Cal shrugged his shoulders. Of course he wasn't worried about diabetes. He...we...had bigger problems.

He did put the glass down though and managed to unwrap the straw that the waitress had left for him before placidly sucking down the rest of the carbonated drink.

We sat in companionable silence. I looked around at the other diners, wondering what their stories were. Was anyone else running from a crazy improbability like Cal and I? If they were, how would I even guess?

The waitress dropped off a carafe of maple syrup and grabbed Cal's glass to refill faster than I could refuse. "Last one," I warned him. He hadn't had caffeine to speak of since he'd come back, and I was somewhat concerned at his reaction. The kid was already jumpy and excitable. The last thing I needed was to make that any worse.

* * *

I sat in the car, fairly vibrating with energy. Next to me, Nik was humming along with some concerto on the radio, his eyes checking the mirrors every few seconds as usual. We hadn't seen them yet, but neither of us doubted that they were following. The Grendels had wanted me badly enough to steal me. They wouldn't let me go so easily.

"Are you getting tired yet, Cal?" Niko asked.

No. No I wasn't. Helped along by another bottle of Mountain Dew at an earlier rest stop. And at lunch, accompanied by some serious frowning from Nik. And the can I'd stolen and chugged when he'd stopped for gas after supper. Another stolen can was still hidden in the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt. I was not about to fall asleep. I wouldn't. I couldn't. It wasn't safe. If I fell asleep, then Niko couldn't sleep. And who would watch? Someone had to watch. Niko was only human. It had to be me.

I gave a little half-hearted nod though, which was enough for Nik.

"We'll sleep in the car tonight," he said. "It'll save us a little money."

Fine by me. I wasn't going to sleep anyway, so it didn't matter.

Nik pulled into a rest stop and drove the jeep into a small inlet into the woods. It wasn't technically a parking spot or a campground, but it was hidden from the main building, and I knew that was what Niko was looking for. We didn't want the Grendels to see us for sure, but we didn't really want any of the humans to see us either. Grendels weren't the only ones who could cause harm.

I watched Nik practicing with one of his swords for nearly an hour, my eyes scanning the trees around us until it was truly too dark to see. He cleaned the already clean blade before sheathing it and putting it carefully in the backseat. Then he wiped the sweat from his forehead with the hem of his tee shirt. "Let's get ready to sleep," he said.

I followed Niko into the building and stealthily chugged my can of Mountain Dew while hiding in a stall. He was cleaning himself up in the sink. Then, under Niko's watchful eyes, I brushed my teeth and we headed back out to the car.

Niko rolled down the windows about an inch and grabbed a pair of blankets and a couple of sweatshirts from the back. I balled the sweatshirt up to use as a pillow and leaned against the door, then covered myself with the blanket. Nik dropped his seat back and got as comfortable as it is possible to get in a Jeep.

"Goodnight, little brother," he said quietly. "I'm right here if you need me."

I nodded, faking drowsiness even as my heart hammered in my chest. I would keep us safe.

* * *

Nik was snoring deeply at my side, and I stared into the darkness outside my window. The wind rustled the leaves outside, making it more difficult to listen for Grendels.

My eyes felt gritty and filled with sand. Despite the copious amount of Mountain Dew I had drank, I was getting drowsy. But I was much too nervous to close my weary eyes.

Out of the comer of my eye l saw movement. I whipped my head around, lashing myself in the face with my own hair. There was nothing to see. The little hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up though. I always listened to those little hairs, nowadays.

It was very dark out there. My eyes were wide, watching for anything unusual. Next to me, Nik continued to snore like a chainsaw and I wished he wouldn't. I wouldn't hear them until they were right on top of us at this rate.

Another flash from the corner of my eye made me jerk. Was that them? Were they here?

I glanced over at Nik again, then out the windshield. Nothing. But did that mean nothing was there? Or were they just hiding, waiting for me to become complacent? If they took me again...I couldn't. I wouldn't live through that again.

Suddenly, there was a thump on the windshield. When I looked, it was my worst nightmare. Pale skin and hair glinted in the moonlight. Long, clawed fingers waved at me coyly through the windshield. Those evil red eyes stared into my own.

I screamed, eyes wide open, staring ahead at the creature perched on the windshield. Next to me, Niko jerked straight up, pulling a large knife from God-knows-where. The Grendel disappeared.

"Cal?" Niko held the knife at the ready, his eyes scanning around us. I snapped my mouth shut, cutting off that high, painful scream. We both surveyed the land outside the windows, but there wasn't any hint of the Grendel who had been there only moments before. "What was it? Another dream?" He finally looked over to me.

I shook my head and pointed at the windshield. Niko leaned forward to examine it from the inside. He lowered the knife finally.

"Cal, there's nothing there," he said. I shook my head stubbornly. No, nothing was there now...but there had been. That... _thing_...had been right there. I'd seen it with my own eyes. I opened my mouth to try to explain, but nothing came out.

Nik sighed. "Do you want me to get out and look?" His voice was soft, and I could tell that he thought I had been dreaming. But I'd been awake. I'd seen the Grendel, and watched it wave those long, savage claws at me. And I absolutely did not want Niko to go out there. It wasn't safe.

I shook my head, grabbing his arm in both my hands as though I was strong enough to keep him in the vehicle if he really wanted to get out. He still had half a foot and over fifty pounds of muscle on me. But Nik didn't try to pull away.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Relax," he said. I hung onto his arm still, not sure if I believed him. We'd been brothers for a long time, and Nik wasn't unwilling to trick me if he thought it was for my own good. Fish sticks came to mind, for some reason. But he settled back into the driver's seat again, sheathing the knife in the space between the side of his seat and the door. Finally, I released his arm. He wouldn't go out there without a weapon, even if he thought it was only in my head.

He turned his head towards me. "Go to sleep, Cal," he said. I shook my head. There was no way I was going to sleep, when that thing could be back any second, ready to drag me to hell. Niko sighed.

"I'll keep watch, little brother. I already got a solid five hours. That's enough for one night."

I shook my head again, but Niko's hand on my chest pushed me back into a reclining position against the seat. He pulled on the lever so his seat was upright again. "Yes. Sleep." The warmth of his hand against my sternum kept me in place, and he left it there until I gave up and let myself relax into the seat. I didn't shut my eyes though.

I couldn't possibly sleep. There was no way.

"Shut your eyes, Cal, unless you want me to go all big brother on you," Niko ordered. "I swear, I will duct tape them closed if I see them again."

He wouldn't, not really. But it was pretty obvious that he was done sleeping for the night. He was sitting bolt upright, and had the keys in the ignition. The Jeep grumbled a little, but it started.

"We might as well get a move on," he explained, pulling out of the little inlet and back onto the road beside it. I watched for flashes of bone-white skin or red eyes outside the window as he left the roadside stop and pulled back onto the highway.

"Go to sleep now," he said firmly, covering my eyes with his free hand.

We were moving. The Grendels hopefully wouldn't be able to find us while we were moving. And my eyes were feeling gritty. And I couldn't see anything through Niko's calloused palm anyway. So, with a deep sigh, I shut my eyes.

Even so, I didn't mean to let the gentle movement of the car send me to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Cal did fall asleep, and he slept hard. Even when I pulled through a drive through around an hour later, lamenting the damage that the fast food would likely do to our arteries, Cal didn't so much as twitch. I ate the three plain eggs (sandwiches that I had ordered without the muffins, cheese, or meat) and drank the sad excuse for green tea that they provided, but Cal slept on.

About twenty minutes after that, Cal started to moan. Just little noises in the back of his throat, but I recognized them. Another nightmare was beginning. With a sigh, I pulled to the side of the highway and turned on the Jeep's hazard lights (sometimes he struck out and I didn't want to send us into the ditch) before tapping his shoulder. "Cal, wake up," I ordered.

He tried to pull away from me, burrowing deeper into the passenger seat. His body was curled up in a tiny ball, his arms coming up as if he was trying to protect his head and face. The moans were more pained.

"Cal! It's a dream! Come on buddy, wake up!" I took his arm and gave it a hard shake, trying to wake him before the screaming started. He let out a yelp and his eyes popped open.

"You're okay, Cal. It's me. It's Nik," I said softly. By this point, I had awakening him from nightmares down to a science. Be there, be solid, and make contact. Be loud until he woke, then soft and soothing. Remind him where he was, and that he was with me and not  _them_. Remind him that he was safe.

Cal's wide eyes locked on mine, and I saw the recognition in them. I put my hand on his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. He was breathing hard, almost panting.

"We're in the Jeep. Just into South Dakota. I got you some breakfast. Feel like eating?"

His chest heaved and he gave a little shake of his head. He didn't look like he was about to be sick though; mostly, he just looked confused. And tired. I tossed the sack into his lap and gestured at the laminated paper cup in the Jeep's one functional cup holder.

"That's yours when you want it." Despite my better judgment, I'd gotten him more Mountain Dew. It had been awhile since he'd shown any kind of preference whatsoever, except for his penchant for sleeping under beds or in closets. I figured that I should reward that, in hopes that he would show more. Like training a puppy, really. A very scared, traumatized puppy.

I checked my mirrors, then pulled back onto the highway. Cal was getting his breath back under control, and after about fifteen minutes, he dug into the bag. I watched him unwrap the sandwich out of the corner of my eye, noting his surprise that I'd gotten him sausage, egg and cheese. But he was still looking much too skinny; I could count the bones of his spine. The extra fat and calories would only do him good.

He sucked down that cup of soda in minutes flat and put down both sandwiches just as fast. I smiled.

* * *

The Mountain Dew was a welcome surprise-even after Nik had basically forced me to sleep, I could feel the lack of it pulling at me. My body was desperate for it, but I couldn't give in. Not just for my own sake, to avoid the nightmares, but because I had to keep Niko safe.

I turned on the radio, eliciting a surprised look from Nik as I searched the airwaves for something loud, something that would keep me up. Country station after country station was all that got reception. Although it was grating to my ears, I wasn't quite sure it would keep me from falling asleep again. And then, something loud, heavy on the bass and drums. Metallica.

This would keep me awake, at least.

* * *

Since Cal had initiated the music, I didn't fight him on it. It was loud and grating, but he was bobbing his head along with it, obviously enjoying it.

We drove north, up through North Dakota and almost along the Canadian border, only to wind back south through Minnesota. I wanted to throw the Grendels off our trail. Though it wasn't the fastest way, it was random. And since even I didn't know where we were going, it wasn't like they would be able to anticipate it either. I hoped. We kept to the small, winding highways, avoiding the faster, more crowded interstates.

The sun started to set, and I decided to start keeping an eye out for a place to stay. After the terrible night we'd had last night, another night in the Jeep didn't seem like such a great idea. He'd been more jumpy than usual all day, constantly scanning the mirrors and the horizon. Apparently, whatever he'd seen last night really had him spooked. If it hadn't been a dream, I was betting on it having been a glimpse of a raccoon or opossum hoping that we had something good to eat, but Cal had seemed pretty convinced that there was more to it than that. And there was a possibility, be it ever so slight, that he was correct. I had no idea how the Grendels had found us...found him...in the first place. Which made it pretty hard to keep them from finding us again in any way except by keeping ourselves on the move.

I spotted a flickering light for a roadside motel ahead. That would be good enough, assuming it was cheap. We were running low on funds, and I'd have to find a way to get us more soon. The money we were living off currently had been my financial aid for this semester, to buy textbooks and lodging at school. It had been a decent sized chunk of cash, but it wasn't really meant to be lived off of by two vagabonds traveling via Jeep. I had a rather eccentric skill set, and hopefully the next time we ran across a larger city, there would be a chance to use it for a few days to collect enough money to keep us moving.

The sign for the Hide-a-Way Motel was only half-lit, with many of the bulbs burned out or missing. Just our kind of place.

It only took us a couple of minutes to collect the key from the completely disinterested middle-aged man in the lobby and then I herded Cal into the room. Two full beds, an old TV with rabbit ears, and a mysterious stain on the carpet welcomed us.

I stepped back outside the door to use the payphone and order us a pizza for supper. When I returned inside, Cal was sitting on one of the beds, staring at the staticky television. Cartoons. Fine by me.

I spent the next hour doing calisthenics and katas. The pizza guy came, and Cal silently paid him, taking cash from the wallet I'd discarded on the night stand. He dug in right away, which I found surprising and gratifying. Usually, getting him to eat twice in the same day was an exercise in coaxing and coercion.

"I'm going to take a shower," I told him, double-checking the locks. "If anyone knocks, check the peephole. Don't answer it." I glanced at him to see that he understood.

Cal nodded.

* * *

After Niko disappeared into the bathroom, I snatched up the wallet and shoved it into my jeans. I'd need it. It was kind of stealing, I supposed, but Nik wouldn't really want me to be out there alone without even a little bit of cash to hold me over. He was old enough to get work to make more. He had skills. I…didn't.

All day, I'd been contemplating this. When I'd decided that I couldn't sleep, for Niko's sake, I'd somehow missed the bigger picture. Which was me. They didn't want Nik. They'd left him behind when they had pulled me into hell before. As amazing as Niko was, he was also only human. They didn't want a human. They wanted blood. I was their blood. They wanted me.  _Only_ me.

If I left, Niko would be safe. He'd have a normal life, the life he really should have had all along. He could go back to school and use his giant brain to become a historian, or a lawyer, or a ninja-assassin or something. (Hell, he was halfway to ninja-assassin already.) The Grendels wouldn't touch him. They'd leave him be.

I'd have to go at it alone. And even though I was still skinny and weak, that was how I could protect my brother. He didn't even realize that he needed to be protected...from me. Only I could do that.

I swallowed hard against the knot in my throat. I didn't really want to leave him. He was the only constant in my life; the only person who I would do anything for. He'd raised me, protected me, taught me everything important that I had ever learned. Sophia had always said I was useless and selfish, but not this time. I was going to leave for him, to take care of him. Deliberately, I pulled out one hundred dollars and left it with my key on his pillow.

I pulled on a hooded sweatshirt (one of Nik's) and shoved his discarded wallet in my pocket. Then, very quietly, I unlocked the door. Even naked and covered in soap suds I had no doubt that Niko could take down any human who might think about coming into the room.

And the non-humans, the Grendels, would be following  _me_.

* * *

I reluctantly stepped out of the shower and toweled off, then pulled on a clean pair of sweatpants. We'd need to stop at a laundromat within a few days too; clean clothes were becoming scarce. I sniffed, hoping to smell pizza through the door, but all I could smell was soap and moisture. Cal probably finished it off.

Still rubbing my hair with the towel, I stepped into the main room. "Any pizza left Cal?" I asked, not expecting a reply. None was given, and the television continued to drone.

I pulled the towel off my head, and stopped dead.

Cal wasn't sitting on the bed where I'd left him. In his place was a small stack of twenties.

And one hotel key.

Goddammit Cal!


	4. Chapter 4

I walked fast, knowing that being out in the open was not safe. As we had driven all over the map, Niko had spent some of those endless hours lecturing. He'd talked about history, about science and math, about English. And he'd talked about safety. About the importance of being fit, of keeping your eye on the target and your back to the wall. About staying out of elevators (steel boxes of death, he'd casually called them) and why a good knife or sword was superior to a gun in most situations. "(I'll teach you how to use both soon, Cal," he'd said.) About how to track someone, and how to avoid being tracked. That was the knowledge I was trying to use now. It was harder to do than I'd thought, especially considering I'd never had a chance to practice it before. And I was trying to move fast.

Keeping to the pebbles along the side of the highway kept my footprints to a minimum, but every car that drove by illuminated me in its headlights. I would have taken the Jeep, but I'd never driven before, considering that up until a couple months ago, I'd been fourteen. Niko was practical, but he was also as law-abiding as Sophia's "lifestyle" allowed him to be. He hadn't seen reason to teach a kid barely fourteen to drive yet.

Reluctantly, I dropped back down into the ditch, letting the sparse trees on the side of the highway hide me some. Better to leave some tracks but be mostly hidden from plain sight than to be seen by everyone driving by, right? Niko would be relieved I was gone once he let himself be, but he'd make an attempt to find me, and he had the Jeep. I couldn't let him find me, for his own safety. Because if he found me, he'd feel obliged to take me back. He was a good brother like that.

Neither the trees nor the pebbles would keep the Grendels from finding me, of course, but I couldn't think about that. Thinking about that would only send me screaming. So I shoved it down as far as it could go in the back of my head and slogged on through the darkness.

* * *

I jammed my feet into my boots and ran out into the parking lot, hoping I was wrong and Cal had only stepped outside for a minute. Why he'd do that, I didn't know, but I didn't understand why he would leave a few twenties and his hotel key behind and go either. Then again, Cal hadn't spoken in two months. Who knew what was going on in his head?

The parking lot wasn't well lit, but even so, it was obvious that Cal wasn't there. I chose a direction and started to run, looking for any evidence of his passing. Bent grass, or footprints left in the dirt that made up the parking area. Anything.

Honestly, what would possess him? Was he trying to get himself killed? Or taken again? I'd dealt with him being stolen from me once. Another time would probably kill me. He'd better have a good explanation for this, or I was going to murder him myself! I shook my head. The damn kid didn't even talk. How the hell was I going to get him to explain himself?

What if they had taken him again? What if the money and the keys were some kind of feint by the Grendels themselves? They could have my little brother in their murderous, clawed grip right now. What if I was wasting my time looking for Cal, and he was gone again, to a place where I couldn't go, couldn't save him? I squelched the panic building in my chest. I couldn't think like that. I just couldn't.

There! The dirt was misplaced, shoved to the side, as though a booted foot had slipped. I'd talked to Cal about rudimentary tracking, but who knew how much of that he had absorbed? It was hard to tell when he mostly sat in the passenger seat curled in a ball and staring off into the distance. Hopefully, he hadn't caught too much of it. The footprint said he hadn't. Because that was, without a doubt, a mark from his combat boots. I recognized them; they used to be mine. And they were too big on him still, which was probably why he slipped.

I started off in that direction, eyes scanning for any more sign of him. At least now I had proof that he wasn't spirited away by the Grendels this time.

* * *

About twenty minutes after I'd begun my hasty trip through the woods, I felt a droplet of water hit my head. Then another. A quick glance up into the blackness of the sky got me a third one straight in my eyeball. Great. It was going to rain. Of course it was.

I started to move faster, because the rain would make tracking me even easier. Once Niko gave up searching in the car, he was going to try going on foot. Niko did everything thoroughly. He wouldn't give up on finding me until he'd given it his best shot.

I broke into a jog, grunting a little at the exertion. I had always been lazy, and even though I had no idea where I'd been when  _they_ took me, my body told me that I hadn't exactly been doing a lot of exercise there. I quickly squashed that thought in the back of my mind and continued to pick my way through the trees, which seemed to be getting sparser as I became more aware of my foot starting to throb and my increasing inability to catch my breath.

And then, up far ahead, I saw something. Lights. Which meant a town. Probably a small one, like one of the many tiny places that Niko and I had traveled through with Sophia as children. But it was technically civilization, and there might be a place to hide and wait Nik out. Small town people didn't always lock their doors. That was a lesson I'd learned from Sophia.

Suddenly, the sky above me opened in a deluge. I put on an extra burst of speed, ignoring the stitch in my side and the throbbing of my feet.

* * *

I jogged as fast as I could through the woods, following the clear trail Cal had left. I could see that he'd tried to keep me from tracking him, going up along the highway at first, but he'd obviously realized that everyone who drove by could see him in their headlights, and returned to the line of trees along the ditch. Fortunately, it was easier to see where he'd been there. He may as well have left a trail of stones like Hansel and Gretel.

The rain started then, and I found myself swearing under my breath, speeding up so I wouldn't lose the trail. Rain was a mixed blessing and curse-it would make new tracks easier to see, but it also might wash away any older tracks that he'd left. I didn't want to just assume he'd continued down a highway in a straight line, even if that appeared to be what he'd done. That was a terrible strategy for trying to lose a tracker. Then again, Cal obviously hadn't been thinking straight. Why would he run off like this anyway?

He'd been so afraid of everything-bolting off into the woods seemed out of character considering that the kid was usually terrified whenever I wasn't in his direct line of sight. And the last few days had been so strange. In some ways, he seemed like he was doing better. He wasn't waking up screaming as often, and he managed to answer my yes or no questions with a shake of his head, something that he hadn't bothered to acknowledge in the prior months. But he was also twitchy, jumpy in a different way than he'd been before. I didn't really know what to make of it; it had been part of the reason I'd taken such a long shower. I'd been trying to understand the puzzle that was Cal, and not really getting anywhere with it.

And then, up ahead, I saw it. Barely visible in the dark, lit only by the moon overhead and the lights from the small town in the distance, was a person. Running awkwardly, holding his side, somewhat hobbled by combat boots that I knew were too big for his feet. Cal.

"Cal!" I yelled.

Cal's head whipped around, but he was too far ahead for me to see his expression. I pushed myself, running as fast as I could. I could see him trying to pick up the pace, but the kid was obviously lagging. I'd have to remedy that, I thought absently as I gained on him.

"Stop!" I hollered after him, gaining on him quickly. But Cal kept trying to run, even though at this point it was really closer to a sad, limping crawl. He was weighed down by layers of wet clothes, too big for him too. It wasn't a fair race.

I was fine with that.

"Damn it Cal, stop!" I yelled, right in his ear since I was practically on top of him. I grabbed his arms, jerking him to a stop.

I didn't expect him to struggle like he did. He was silent, panting, fighting like a wild animal. He kicked and scratched at me ineffectually, baring his teeth. The overall effect was like watching a wet, angry kitten fight a bulldog. He was trying, even making an attempt to kick me in the groin, but his technique was non-existent and he was plainly exhausted.

Suddenly he let his legs go boneless. I hadn't been expecting that, and I let him drop. He rolled away from me and struggled to his feet in time for me to grab him again. I sighed. He was going to hurt himself if we kept this up.

"Enough, Cal," I said, grabbing him around the waist and swinging him over my shoulder in a fireman's carry. He continued to struggle, pummeling my back with his fists, wiggling, and kicking. There was enough fight in him for it to hurt, but not enough to bruise, and so I let him wear himself out. He wasn't going anywhere but back to the hotel with me.

Suddenly, a sharp pain made me jerk. Holy Buddha, that little asshole had bit me! I brought my hand down sharply on the skinny, wet backside slung over my shoulder. "Knock it off!" I warned him. He jerked at the swat and paused for a moment, then continued with his pitiful struggles to get free. He didn't bite again though.

I sighed and kept walking as the rain came down.

* * *

I was so pissed I could barely even contain my rage. Fear too. How had he found me, and so quickly too? I thought I'd had a decent head start, but he'd somehow caught up with me and no matter how hard I hit and kicked, he seemed barely to notice, like I was nothing more than an irritating gnat. Except when I bit his back. He noticed that, but only enough to swat me like a fly. And that fucking hurt, so I didn't try that again. I had some sense of self-preservation after all.

As Niko continued to carry me, rain still coming down hard on us both, I could feel myself slowing. I was tired. All this not-sleeping was catching up with me. Even rage wasn't enough to keep me going now.

I stopped kicking first, then stopped my pretty lame and feeble punching next. Nik paid no more notice to their absence than he had to their presence. That hurt my pride, somewhere deep inside.

I didn't remember when exhaustion turned into a doze, but I came to as I was falling through the air and onto the rickety motel bed. I flailed, too late. Niko locked both the bolt and the chain on the door, then turned back to face me.

"What was that?"

His voice was flat. There was nothing to read in it. I pushed myself up into a sitting position despite wanting nothing more than to be swallowed whole by the mattress.

He took a few steps towards me, and it struck me suddenly how menacing he could look. Usually, that look wasn't for me though. I wasn't a fan.

My teeth were chattering audibly. Niko grabbed at me and started pulling off the wet sweatshirt and tee-shirt. I tried to push him off, hoping that if I could make him mad enough, he'd decide I wasn't worth the trouble and he'd give me a little money and let me go.

Instead he gave me a shake that rattled my already chattering teeth. "Stop fighting me, or so help me Cal-" He cut himself off and grabbed my ankle, yanking the knot loose from the laces and pulling the boot off my foot. He tossed it behind him and it landed on the floor with a thud and a squish. The sock came off afterwards, hitting the wall behind him with a wet slapping noise.

We both stared at my foot. The skin had worn off the back of my heel, and it was raw and weeping.

Niko grabbed my other ankle. I kicked at him, trying to keep him back, but he ignored it, turning sideways so my foot glanced off his thigh rather than catching him square in the junk. He ripped that boot and sock off too. The side of that foot had bubbled up with a blister. No wonder running had felt like torture.

He grabbed at the waistband of my jeans then. I started kicking at him again, my hands scrabbling at his, not wanting him to finish undressing me. I wasn't a child, for Christ's sake. I could undress myself!

Niko apparently didn't agree though, because he made a very un-zen growling noise deep in his throat as he yanked my soaking wet jeans down my legs and flipped me onto my stomach on the bed. His hand came down hard again, three loud blows on my freezing, wet, boxer-clad ass. And it fucking burned like dry ice. Holy shit, I was not prepared for how much that hurt! I struggled again, trying to get away.

"You're already in for a serious paddling, Cal," Niko said quietly, his hand on my back to keep me in place. "You keep this up, and I'm going to dig out my belt too. Do you understand me?"

I froze. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

* * *

Cal understood all right, because he stopped struggling. I pulled him up, yanked his wet boxers off and pushed him into the bathroom, turning the shower on to lukewarm while he stood there shivering. "In," I told him.

He stepped into the somewhat moldy-looking tub and pulled the curtain closed. I sat on the counter. At this point, I didn't trust Cal as far as I could throw him. I hadn't had a clue that he was planning this. Who knew what else he might be thinking? And why?

The bathroom was eerily silent except for the water cascading down. I gave Cal ten minutes, just long enough so I wouldn't worry he'd catch pneumonia. "Rinse off," I warned him.

I heard the water shut off, and I shoved a towel behind the shower curtain. Cal emerged with the towel wrapped around sharply indented hips. At least he wasn't shivering now.

Even Cal wasn't fool enough to try to run outside wounded with bare feet dressed in nothing but a towel. That didn't stop me from hanging onto his wrist while I dug for the last pair of clean sweats. I stood in front of the door as he hastily dressed himself. Then he squared off across from me, his arms crossed over his chest exactly like mine.

"Don't even try to give me attitude, Cal," I warned him. He hunched a little, arms falling to his sides. "Sit your butt down on that bed while you still can."

Cal bit at his lip for a second before sitting on the edge of the bed. He watched me warily.

"What the hell were you thinking? Why would you do that? Run off like that? You could have died, Cal!"

Cal didn't move, his grey eyes watching me.

"Do you understand that? What if the Grendels had found you out there?"

That got a twitch from him, but his mouth was still a hard line. He was afraid of the Grendels still, which I knew, but he wasn't sorry about this whole thing. I knew my brother. He wasn't sorry at all. The glint in his eye told me that. I stepped closer, just out of arm's reach.

"My heart nearly stopped when I realized what you'd done, Cal. What if I couldn't find you? Or what if  _they_ found you first?"

He continued to stare at me, steely-eyed and blank. Like he didn't care that he'd nearly caused me to have a stroke in this dirty motel room. Like he didn't care that if the Grendels found him again, they'd probably kill him.

"You know what? Fine. I get it, you don't talk. I'm done talking too." I grabbed his arm and pulled him up, planting one foot on the bed before bending him double over my knee. He struggled silently, trying to pull away, but I twisted his arm up between his shoulder blades and brought my hand down on his butt with a resounding  _CRACK_!

The room was strangely silent except for my hand landing hard against Cal's too-skinny butt. This wasn't anywhere near the first time I'd had to paddle him over the years, and usually Cal had a tendency to whine and protest before finally breaking down into tears. He'd been that way since he was a little tot. Of course, the last time I'd spanked him had been Before. There'd been no reason since he'd returned from the Grendels. And I didn't know a damn thing about what had happened there, but I did know one thing for sure: it was many magnitudes worse than a spanking.

* * *

Ow. Ow, ow! Shit! Fuck! OW! No doubt, Nik was  _pissed_.

The thing about Niko was that he really only spanked me when I'd done something exceptionally stupid, or dangerous, or both. And he made it fucking count. And holy shit, was he ever making it count!

I wanted to yell at him, to tell him to stop. Hell, I'd even apologize, if I could get the words out. I wouldn't mean it, of course, but it was to protect him. And to protect my ass, literally.

It seemed really fucking unfair that he was beating my ass when I'd only done it for his sake anyway.  _FUCK_! That fucking  _HURT_!

But every time I tried to open my mouth, nothing came out. It was so unfair! He'd never hit me so hard before, not even the time I'd accidentally set Sophia's curtains on fire playing with matches. Then again, I'd been six. He'd only been eleven. A sixth grader only had so much arm strength.

Suddenly, the loud slaps stopped, leaving us in silence, and Nik pushed me off his knee and onto the bed. I breathed a sigh of relief and reached back to rub at my seriously sore ass. I was pretty sure I understood now why it was referred to as "wearing somebody's ass out" down in the South.

"Don't!" Niko commanded sharply. "We aren't done."

I swiveled my head to look at him. He was still watching me, digging in his duffel bag with one hand.

He pulled his hand free and I felt myself blanch. In his fist, he was holding his belt.

* * *

Cal's already pale skin went paper-white when I pulled out my belt, and I felt sick despite myself. Was I really going to traumatize him further? He'd already been through hell…and I wasn't talking about the spanking.

He'd run away, I reminded myself. Beating his ass wouldn't make him stay, but it might impress on him how serious this was. It might make running away seem too risky to attempt if he knew I'd belt him for it if I caught him. Cal was the sort of kid who seemed to learn everything the hard way. He was impossible to ground, and anyway there just weren't any privileges to revoke.

His eyes were huge and watery, staring at the belt in my hand. I'd never used it on him before; the worst thing he'd ever had to deal with from me was a wooden spoon when he was six and I'd found him with matches in hand, staring as flames consumed Sophia's kitchen curtains. But he wasn't six now.

I took the few steps towards him and he scrambled back, shaking his head back and forth. His eyes were begging me not to do it. I didn't want to.

Sophia had used a belt. Not on me very often, unless I got in the way, but I knew she'd used it on Cal before. And I'd decided long ago that if Sophia did anything, I should think long and hard before I did it myself.

I grabbed Cal's arm again. He fought, more desperately than he had when I'd grabbed him out in the rain. I sat on the bed and dropped the belt on the mattress so I could use both hands to wrangle him over my lap. He started making a strangled noise in the back of his throat as I pushed him down, and I felt tears springing up in my own eyes. I held him there, grasping blindly for the belt with my other hand.  _Just a few swats_ , I decided.  _To drive my point home_.  _Not like Sophia._  I looped the belt in half and held the buckle in my palm so I wouldn't cut him. My stomach lurched. It was one thing to threaten him. Could I really do this?

"Nik!" he gasped. "Nik! No!"


	5. Chapter 5

We both froze. I heard a clink as the belt fell from Nik's hand, and then suddenly he was pulling me up and I was on my feet in front of him, his hands gripping my biceps.

His eyes stared straight into mine. "Cal?" he whispered.

I licked my very dry lips. "Nik?" I replied hoarsely.

He kept staring at me, looking as if he'd seen a ghost. I took a deep breath.

"Please." I swallowed again, trying to make my throat spit out more. It spasmed, cutting my words off again.

Niko blinked very quickly. "Why?" he asked.

"Fucking hurts," I managed to mumble. Nik shook his head.

"No, Cal. Why did you run away in the first place?" Well, duh. Niko knew that it hurt.

I shook my head. I didn't think that I could put that many words together at a shot.

And then suddenly I was face down across his lap again and his hand came down hard on my already sore ass. I let out a little yelp of surprised pain. But I was somewhat reassured by the fact that I could see the belt on the carpet by his feet. He couldn't use it down there.

"Tell me," Nik demanded. "I can do this all night if need be."

I swallowed again. "Grendels," I whispered. "Saw them. Not...safe."

"So you thought you'd, what? Go it alone? Because that's  _much_ safer." The sarcasm dripped from his voice.

I swallowed again. "For you, it is," I managed.

There was a moment of silence so profound I thought I'd gone deaf. When Niko broke it, his voice was chilling.

"You left to keep me safe." I could feel Nik's breath rising and falling against my side. "Are. You. Insane?" His voice was the kind of quiet that was more frightening than any amount of yelling.

He yanked suddenly at the back of my sweatpants, baring my backside completely and bringing his hand down with a noise like a gunshot. I let out a yell. I'd thought it sucked before. On bare skin though, it was so much worse.

"FUCK!" I yelled. "OW! STOP!"

He didn't.

"It is not your job to keep me safe. You are my little brother. Since the day you were born, _I've_ kept  _you_ safe. Yes, I really dropped the ball two months ago, but that does not mean that we've switched roles here!"

"Oww!" I wailed, kicking my legs like some little kid, but I couldn't help it. Tears were coming now too. Niko shifted his position and my ass seemed to be higher in the air, my skin stretched tighter. The next blow nearly took my breath away. Fuck! He was going to leave handprints like tattoos on my ass!

"If you EVER do something this stupid again, no matter what your excuse, I swear to you Cal, I will take that belt to your backside and sitting down will be nothing but a fond, distant memory. Do you understand me?" Finally, he paused.

"Yes! F-fuck, Nik, STOP!" I begged him shakily. I was ready to promise him just about anything.

He pulled my sweatpants back up, but his hand was still firm against my back, keeping me from standing. "Is there anything else I should know?" he asked me.

I shook my head, swiping at my tears.

"Are you sure? Because if there is and you don't tell me, when I find out I'll go outside and cut a switch."

"W-will anyway," I said to the bedspread under my chin.

"Now's your chance. Get out of trouble free," he said. He patted my back a couple of times. "Spit it out."

I sniffled again, wondering if he knew, or if he was bluffing. Ah, fuck it.

"H-haven't been sleeping," I admitted.

Niko took another deep breath. "For how long?" he asked.

I shrugged. He gave me a stinging tap on the backside that I read as a clear warning.

"Um...p-pancakes?" I tensed, sure he was going to spank me again, but his hand stayed on my back.

"Of course," Niko muttered under his breath. "Is that everything?"

I nodded.

"You're sure?"

I thought for a second. "Stole. Mountain Dew," I admitted finally, just to be safe. Usually something like that would be good for a lecture, not a paddling, but I wasn't about to risk it. .

Niko let out a small huff. "And  _that's_ everything?"

I nodded again.

"It better be," Niko said gruffly, but he pulled me up off his knees.

I sniffled again, feeling pathetic, and Niko sighed. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned against his shoulder, exhausted.

"I'll take first watch, Cal," he said finally, ruffling my hair. "Get in bed." He released me and pulled back the covers on the motel bed.

I wanted to protest, but the look in Nik's eyes let me know that would be a very stupid idea indeed. So instead I very carefully slid under the covers on my stomach, taking no chances that my weight would press my sore ass into the mattress. Niko very kindly pretended that he didn't notice, busying himself with the knife he'd hidden under the pillow of the other bed.

He sat on the end of the bed, watching the door. "Go to sleep, Cal," he said softly.

I shut my eyes.

* * *

He drifted off faster than I'd thought he would. I watched him, even as I kept an eye on the door in case.

That little idiot. Thinking he's going to keep me safe by leaving? Like trying to keep someone's heart safe outside of their chest. I spun the knife in my hand, testing my reflexes.

At least he was talking again. I would have preferred if he'd done it some other way, but that was Cal for you-stubborn as the proverbial mule and twice as thick-headed.

I'd always taken care of Cal, ever since the day he was born. But now, I needed to take that to the next level. The Grendels were a threat about which we had grown complacent, and Cal had paid for that. I couldn't regret that any more than I already did. The miracle was that he'd returned at all. I wouldn't neglect him again.

It was going to take a lot of work. As soon as he'd fallen into my arms upon his return, I'd seen that he was at least twenty pounds underweight, physically and emotionally ravaged. Now I had proof that his endurance was next to nothing and his fighting skills were no better than your average child in a school-yard brawl. I'd have to remedy that, and soon.

As I sat watching the door, I began to run through ideas for a training regimen in my head. He'd need to learn to fight, how to use a knife, sword, and gun, and gain the kind of endurance that was really mandatory for a person who was literally running for his life. And I'd have to get him eating, both enough in terms of quantity and better in terms of quality.

That might be a lost cause. Ever since he'd been a little kid, bribing him with sugar was the easiest way to get him to do anything. That was probably my fault too-as a baby, sometimes sugar water had been the only thing available to feed him.

I'd also have to teach him. Not just basic life skills, tactics and strategy, and enough education that he could make something of himself as an adult; we needed to find out what these things chasing us actually were, and if there were other things out there. The Grendels were a nightmare come to life. They couldn't be the only ones.

The tremors shaking the mattress broke into my thoughts. Another nightmare coming.

I put my hand on his leg where it trembled under the motel's thin excuse for a blanket. "Cal, wake up," I said, giving his leg a shake. He kicked, tangling himself in the sheets.

"Cal! It's a nightmare, wake up!"

He woke with a snort, his head rearing off the pillow. "Nik!" he cried.

"Shh, little brother. You're ok. I'm right here." I gave his calf a squeeze. "You're safe."

He looked over his shoulder at me, eyes like slate seeking reassurance. His eyes grazed mine, then dropped to the knife I was holding in my other hand. It seemed to reassure him. He took a deep, shaky breath.

"Keep watch?" he said, his voice quiet.

I squeezed his calf again. "Always, Cal. Go back to sleep."

His head dropped back onto the pillow, his eyes falling closed again.

_He was my brother. Whatever would keep him safe was what I would do. Always_.


End file.
